We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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