Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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