bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
