Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
