I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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