peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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