I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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