I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
