Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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