the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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