Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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