using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
