he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
