So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
