Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
