Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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