Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
