I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
