Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
