dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Drunk is not a location!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
