Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
