can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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