would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
