How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
