This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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