I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
