Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
