And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
