why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize