Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
