what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
