singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
