Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Even my vagina gasped.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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