There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
