bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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