i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
