dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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