Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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