My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
