Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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