As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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