Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
