Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
