If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
