Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
