2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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