Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
