She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
