3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My penis needs a shock collar
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
