Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
