it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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