Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
