how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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