is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
